every thing that has breath

you either give yourself to Him, or you don't.

one heck of a year.

once in your life you will find someone, who will turn your world around... bring you up when you're feeling down.
those bryan adams lyrics mean so much to me, for multiple reasons.
so many people have been there for me the past year, it's absolutly incredible.
shout out to my beautiful friends (yes, even you boys!), you know who you are.

it's hard to convey where i'm at still. it's hard to convey that i am a suicide survivor.
recently, i've felt really weak and vulnerable. mostly because things have happened that have shaken me.
adjusting to all that happened changes a lot of people.
i still think about it everyday. that morning. i don't think it'll ever fully pass my mind.
i wish i could have amnesia.
i wish my head could have a break.
but that's what happens, i guess. if you could delete all that you think and feel, and start over, aren't you just back where you started?
i just searched for my dad's RIP page, clicked on it, and started crying.
two months ago, i would of been able to face it and remember him in a good way.
now that a lot of things are changing, i want him here.
that hasn't changed.

i miss my daddy, i will every single day until i die.
i hope i can feel him and sense him on sunday.
it's hard right now, but i know i've got two dad's on my side.

thank you for reading my ramblings.
you are lovely.